Hoppin’ Pants January 14, 2011

Today I went shopping at a thrift store down the road from us.  I found out that they have a great selection of books!  It was like I was at Barnes and Noble, only slightly used.  Anyway, after peeling myself away from the book section, I ventured over to the children’s clothes.  I had grabbed a few things for the kids, and then…

 

I saw them.

 

Or maybe you could say, I heard them.  The loudest pants on the face of the planet.

If ever there have been a pair of pants that literally scream Maya’s name, these pants were it.

So, I decided I could spend the 50 cents, and got the girl some pants.

After I got home, Maya woke from her nap.  The pants were at the bottom of a pile of clothes.  I saw her eyes widen as she saw them. She snatched them out, yelling, “Mom, look!” Before I could even look at her, her clothes were stripped off and the pants were going on.  Apparently, love at first sight.

She immediately declared that she could jump and hop better in THESE pants, and so, the “hoppin’ pants” were born.

 

 

Admit it, you wish you had some hoppin’ pants.

One Year Ago Today. January 8, 2011

January 8th – Today marks 1 year with our boy!  One year ago today, we walked into an orphanage in Ethiopia and laid eyes on Elijah for the first time.  Literally years of this adoption journey had led up to this moment.  He was precious. He was beautiful.  He had no idea who we were or what was going on!

And here we are, a year later.  So grown up.  But still with your heartbreaker big brown eyes!

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In only one year, you’ve turned from a wobbly, pensive little baby, to a quirky, “ham” of a little boy.

-One who, after careful consideration, does things like name your new pet fish “Pizza.”

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We love you buddy.  You were an answer to years of prayers when we got you, and you’re an answer to our prayers now.

You fill our family with giggles and snuggles, as you tell us daily “Uppy.” (up please).

You are dearly loved.

Happy Gotcha Day, Elijah.

Down on the Farm October 23, 2010

I realize it’s been forever since I’ve posted.  I could list excuses, but instead, I’m going to blow right past it and ignore the situation altogether!

One of the past weekends, we went to a farm by Birmingham.  You get to ride a hayride and pick your pumpkin in the pumpkin patch.  There are also animals everywhere and various activities that the kids can do.  We brought a picnic lunch and made a day of it.  Here are some of the highlights.

Elijah, ready to carry the pumpkin he picked back to the hayride.

Turns out that Maya would rather just play in the dirt…

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There was a giant cotton jumping pit, filled with the cotton they grow at the farm.

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Looking at and petting the farm animals.

There were all these great little picture spots for your kids.  We tried and tried.  This is as good as it got.

Ok, that’s better. Apparently, he just needs to hold his pumpkin.

The story that’s still told around our house is “Maya horse!” She was a little scared and started crying at first, but I walked with her and told her she had to ride, knowing that in the end, she would love it.  (Not to mention that we’d already paid…)  She was brave the whole ride and cannot quit telling everyone that the horse “went potty” while she was on it.  You know, the important details.

Bus accident August 29, 2010

Elijah might need more practice driving. He was none too happy about getting his bus stuck in the coffee table.

A bunch of pics! June 27, 2010

We have had a GREAT last few days with both kids!  We had a fun weekend just hanging out and being together most of the time.  Things feel more like they may be beginning to gel between us all.  But, that may also be because I had Paul to help all weekend!  I guess we’ll see how I feel tomorrow!   Here are some pics from the weekend of the kiddos.

VERY excited about her dress.  Maya is a girly girl to the core!  Paul and I both wonder how WE ended up with a girly girl.  Let’s just say neither of us are very pink or sparkly…

You want us to pose how???

The cheesy brother/sister love smile…

Elijah has fit very well into the role of “annoying little brother”…

Mid-throw into the air!

Apparently, VERY proud of the nap he just took!

It’s just not corn on the cob if it’s not spread from ear to ear!

Composing his first concerto.

What we’ve learned so far. June 24, 2010

Wow, this is hard.  I think we are now over the “honeymoon phase” of having Maya in our family.  At first, she was a little scared, it was unknown, and I think there were probably memories of her previous caregivers telling her to obey us.

Now, we are into phase 2.  Let the issues surface and the tantrums begin.  It’s obvious that there are problems and hurts that run deep in this girl.  And, there are 3 years of reinforced bad behavior to correct.  It’s always back to the questions of what to discipline and what to let slide.  We are definitely having to pick our battles right now.  Some social workers say to not discipline yet, they need to feel “loved in” to your family.  Ok, but on the other hand, we are also now setting the expectations for what it’s like to live in our family.  There are simply some things we do not do as a part of this family.

But, I am so thankful that we are in the place we are.  Adoption is so prevalent here at Brook Hills – there are numerous families and experiences to draw on for advice.  It was so good to talk to Sheryl Turner today about some specific issues we are having.  They adopted a 4-year-old boy from Guatemala a couple of years ago.  Just to hear how they handled discipline, bedtime, etc.  And also, it was just really good to know that our situation is not unique.  This phase is hard for every parents of an adopted toddler, and yes, it will pass.

On another note, Maya is taking huge strides in some areas.  She’s already using some English (can I say how funny it is to hear a 3-year-old with a thick accent?), we have been working on attention span, and she’s starting to figure out entertaining herself for short times.  She is still very giggly, and she and Elijah can sit at the table now and just make noises at each other and giggle the meal away.  Very funny.  She’s a dancing machine, and Elijah has started his own “head dance” to go along with hers!

Here’s some pics from the week.

Yes, you have to pick your battles, and standing too close to the TV isn’t one I’ve chosen to pick yet!

Fun with pipe cleaners!

Swimming isn’t scary anymore!

Week one, down. June 19, 2010

We’ve been home now since Tuesday night.  Thankfully, my mom has been here until today helping us out.  She has been a huge help, and will definitely be missed!

Overall, Maya is a great girl.  We are going to have fun with her, and I think she will be a thoughtful and helpful big sister.  However, there is still a HUGE adjustment to take place.

We have heard off and on that when you adopt, you should try to keep the birth order in tact.  Meaning, you should bring a new child into the family who is younger than the current children.  Well, that wasn’t an option for us, so we’re hoping for the best…  I have now learned one reason why they recommend that.  Had we had Maya in our family for a while, and were now bringing in Elijah – we could explain to Maya that he just needs some extra attention for a while, etc.  We can’t explain that to Elijah – he’s just mad that someone else is hogging his mom’s lap!  It’s definitely a challenge having 2 adopted children, when the first one is still relatively new to settling in.  We will have to be very intentional to not backtrack with Elijah and give him the attention that he needs too.

Our first day home with Maya was hard.  Draining, to say the least.  Adopting a 3-year-old is a whole different ballgame than an infant.  Elijah wasn’t old enough to really have opinions and an attitude!  And the hard part for me is knowing when to say no and set boundaries, and when to have grace and love her into our family.  I know that she was corrected very strongly in Haiti – we got to see one of her careworkers correct her somewhat harshly, and saw Maya shut down because of it.  So, I don’t want to be that.  She needs to know that we love her and have grace for her – accidents happen, mistakes get made, but we still absolutely love you.  On the other hand, she needs to understand boundaries as a part of this family.  It’s hard to know when to discipline, and how to explain with a language barrier.  And the other struggle for me is, when I am frustrated – to not stay mad!  So, we are working through boundaries – and she is one to test every single one of them.

She has great instincts with Elijah.  She gives him kisses and gently holds his hands.  She’ll share toys, and rub him when he cries.  Of course, they already have tugging wars over the same toys, but what kids don’t?  One sweet moment was with our dogs, who she is still very scared of.  They were in their kennel and Elijah was crawling up to the door, like he often does.  She started yelling frantically, and waving for him to come away.  Finally, as a last ditch effort, she ran up, grabbed his arm and drug him away from the kennel – saving him from “certain death!”  I think she’ll look out for him!

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Maya loves to dance!  The first time we saw it was on Sunday, the first day we had her.  She was sitting on my lap on our hotel balcony.  We hadn’t even gotten a hint of a smile or word from her yet.  There was some music playing below, and as an instinct, her hands and shoulders starting going.  Very subtly, but it was there!  Now she’ll start up Elijah’s music toys, and let loose in the living room.  Today she had her hands on her hips, doing some type of dance.  I would love to see the dance that she’s imitating!

Coming home. June 15, 2010

We worked it out so that we get to come home early!  We get into Birmingham at 8:40pm tonight.  We are excited to get home, see Elijah, and sleep at our own house!

Today has been another long day of waiting and processing.  Let me tell you, Maya has to be wondering what she got into in this family.  All we do is wait in lines and sit in airports!  This morning, we went to the house where Maya had to stay last night.  One good thing there is that she got to stay with other Haitian kids, and there was a Haitian lady who was the caretaker.  So they could speak Creole and make her feel at home.  The other Haitian kids were in the US since the earthquake.  They all needed medical attention of some sort or another, due to earthquake injuries.

The workers there took all our paperwork, and we were brought to a playroom to hang out with Maya until it was processed.  They told us it would be very quick, maybe an hour at the most.  Well, 4 hours later, we got cleared to go!  Another hurry up and wait situation.   But the end result is that she is legally in our custody now.  She is in the US, on parole.  Her parole is good for 2 years, meaning, that we just have to finish up the adoption paperwork that was left hanging by that time.  That shouldn’t be a problem.  We are now referred to as her “adoptive parents,” so for most practical reasons, the adoption is done.  We just have some paperwork straggling behind.

She has been a total trooper through these last couple of days!  She’s only cried a couple of times, more from exhaustion and missed naps than anything.  I think I’ve had more meltdowns than her, so we’re in good shape.  Today she’s really opened up a lot. She’s been very silly and giggly, which is a far cry from the timid, shy girl we met 2 days ago!

A couple more pics….This is at the orphanage where Maya was staying.  The building got damaged in the earthquake, and so everyone has been sleeping in a tent out in the yard ever since.  This is the courtyard area and the tent where she has been staying.

.From what we gathered, I think Maya was the last kid left at the orphanage.  They evidently have not taken on any more kids since the earthquake, and all the rest of the children have gone home on humanitarian parole.  I knew she was very late to go, but I didn’t know she was the only kid left there!  I believe some kids were picked up by their families a couple of weeks ago.

Alright, well this is the last post from the road.  See you back in B’ham!

Gotcha Day is Here!! June 14, 2010

Today (Monday) we are back in the states with our daughter, Maya!  We got to Port-au-Prince yesterday, and were actually able to get her then, but without a computer, we’ll tell the story today.

Yesterday morning, we got to Port-au-Prince.  I’d mentioned that we weren’t really sure how this trip was going to play out – boy, was that an understatement! Without a whole lot of contacts or support going into this, there were a lot of unknowns.  We got to the airport, realized that it is HOT in Haiti in June!  Like, blazing-inferno-with-a-thousand-percent-humidity type hot.  Wow.   So, we made it through customs at the airport, got outside to no ride.  Thankfully, someone had given me the hint to “ask for Big.”  We did, and over came Big.  He spoke relatively good English and would make calls on his cell phone for us.  He made contact with the orphanage director, and contacted a ride for us.  We climbed and fought through a mass of people out to the street.  He pointed to a truck, we got over there, and there was Maya!

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I mentioned in Elijah’s adoption how there was really no emotional buildup to meeting him.  You envision it being this heartfelt event, and really they are just thrust upon you.  Well, this was even more so!  We were scrambling, sweaty, getting pawed at, and hurriedly loading our bags as we met our daughter.

She is beautiful!  And very shy.  We got in the car, and they put her on my lap.  She was completely overwhelmed, and I don’t blame her!

They took us to a hotel to check in.  Turns out no reservation had been made, and they were full.  So, we went to another one.  We reserved a room, and then tried to have conversation with the lady who seemed to be “in charge” of us.  It was difficult, because she really doesn’t speak English.  Turns out that none of the 3 people we were with spoke English, so conversations were quite limited.  She told us she would see us tomorrow and left.

So, here we are, alone, at a hotel, with a daughter who just met us 5 minutes ago.  So much for easing the 3 of us into this!  We got out some snacks and toys and played for a bit.  Then we found out that she hadn’t eaten yet today!  So, we went to the restaurant at the hotel for some food.  Let me tell you, the girl can pound some food!  At various meals now, she’s eaten her whole adult-sized meal, as well as half of mine!  We wonder if she’s not sure when she’ll get food next, so she takes as much as she can.  I think that should wear off after she gets full meals consistently.

There was a pool at this hotel.  We hadn’t brought swimsuits to Haiti, but it was hot, so we got shorts and t-shirts on and went for it.  Maya swam in her pajamas!  She was fine, but once it got kind of deep on her, the tears came.  We’ll have to work on swimming with her.

In the afternoon, while I stayed at the hotel with a napping Maya, Paul went out with a driver to go around Port-au-Prince.  He got to see a lot of the devastation around the city.  I will say that it really looks like a war zone.  I don’t know what the city looked like before the earthquake, but it’s just dirt upon dirt upon crumbling concrete.

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This morning, we had an appointment at the US Embassy.  Our ride arrived a half hour after our appointment was supposed to start, so we were just hoping that the Embassy runs on Haitian time and not American!  We got there, and though it took a while, everything seemed to go just fine.

Straight from there to the airport for our return flight!  Tons of hangups at the airport.  It’s funny, because at the Embassy, they give you 2 sealed envelopes.  They tell you who is supposed to open each one.  If anyone opens it before that, the paperwork is all void.  They told us this is important, because officials at the PAP airport will try to take them and open them.  Ah!  We had to fight off a policeman, a security guard, and an airline worker from opening our envelopes!  Each with a major language barrier and a long scene.  But, we made it to the plane, with paperwork in tact.

Flight was great.  Maya was completely unphased.  I figured that if she’s used to the driving in Port-au-Prince, turbulence is a piece of cake!  Immigration in Miami was long, but pretty easy.  We were in the office there for about 3 hours.  The weird thing is, since she’s coming in on Humanitarian Parole, she does not have a visa.  So, they have to re-review her case and us before they will let us have custody of her in the U.S.  So…tonight, she has to stay at a group home, of sorts, while we stay at a hotel.  DHS assured us that we will get her again tomorrow.  But, how weird.  In the country of social workers, self-esteem gurus, and experts on attachment, they take our daughter and put her in an unfamiliar place for the night.  We don’t like it.

But, that aside, it looks like we will be set to go with Maya soon.  We will be getting back to Birmingham at noon on Wednesday!  Can’t wait to get her home and introduce her to her Grandma and brother!!

And we’re off for round 2! June 12, 2010

Well, we’re off!  We are sitting at the Birmingham airport, waiting for our first leg of this trip.

I just asked Paul if he’s nervous.  The answer is yes.  And, the next comment is, “I think we do this way too often!”  It’s true.  Traveling nervously to pick up a child you’ve never met – doesn’t everyone do that every couple of months??

My mom got here yesterday to watch Elijah.  They should have a good time.  Grandma can make him giggle ’til he gets hiccups!

I have to say that leaving Elijah is actually the part we are worried about.  Attachment is just such a big part of adoption – getting them to know that you are mom and dad.  It’s a really big deal, and crucial to them as they are growing up.  To have a strong foundation that they KNOW who you are.  He’s bonded incredibly well to us.  A lot of that has to do with how young he was when he came to us.  He is very attached and even very clingy right now.  Lately though, he’s been freaking out when we leave, and also screaming in the night, like he’s having nightmares.  I’m not sure what part of the process that is, but it’s certainly a less than ideal time to leave him for 5 days.  If he was a birth child, I wouldn’t hesitate.  But, this is just a time where we pray like crazy, and hope we come back no worse off than when we left.

On the other hand, I am super excited that we are both traveling to pick up Maya.  She needs to know that we are both intentionally coming to get her and welcome her into our family.

We have no clue what’s going on once we get to Haiti.  We are prepared to stay at a hotel, or sleep on the ground if need be.  We brought enough snacks to be our food, and we’ll bring water.  We’ve heard such mixed things that we really just don’t know what the Haiti leg will entail.

Today, we head to Miami.  We will stay there overnight, and head out to Port-au-Prince at the crack of dawn tomorrow.  Not sure if there will be any way to post while we are in Haiti, so we’ll make sure to do it when we get back to Miami.  If all goes as planned, we’ll be back in Miami Monday afternoon.

Here we go again!!